Perhaps you are making this common mistake!
Whilst doing EFT people often think that their words have to be perfect. This may sound odd to some of you but you would be surprised how many people I hear saying that they gave up tapping because they felt they were not saying the right words or did not know what to say.
EFT is a very personal technique, doing EFT often reminds me of using affirmations. Many people think that affirmations do not work but it is my experience that people who are not having good experiences with affirmations are simply not using them correctly. But that’s another post entirely.
The words that you use when tapping are based upon how you are feeling at the time. When I first started tapping I used to follow many different tapping scripts on a daily basis. I would make time each morning to do some tapping. Unfortunately I was making a serious mistake that cost me a great deal of time and quite a lot of frustration.
I was using someone else’ words to describe my emotions!
When you are feeling strong negative emotion, how likely is it that someone else will be able to describe exactly what you are feeling at that precise moment? No very likely!
That is why tapping along to a pre-recorded tapping sequence is just as unhelpful as using a pre-written affirmation lists. Although the recording may be great and was probably created with the best possible intentions, it will still more often that not, miss the mark when targeting the negative emotions you experience during a trying situation.
So what’s the solution?
Use your own words! No one can express what you are feeling better than you. There is no such thing as ‘the perfect’ words when it comes to EFT. The only thing you have to do is describe how you are feeling. If the words that best sum up what you are feeling are “crappy, craggy or saggy” then use those words.
You are not compiling Shakespearean prose; you are just stating how you feel. That is what makes EFT work.
OK, so perhaps you need an example; imagine you have just finished reading my new book “I Talk to My Body” and you have decided to follow my lifestyle plan. You are raring to go and you feel confident you will succeed.
You tell your spouse about your decision and ask him/her to support you. All is going well until one day you prepare a chicken dish from my book and you are about to sit down to enjoy it when your partner turns up with a large deep dish pizza with 6 of your favorite toppings.
As good as my chicken recipe is it suddenly falters in deliciousness when compared to your all time favorite junk food. So you immediately start a tirade about how un-supportive your partner is for bringing home this huge pizza the day after you start your healthy eating plan.
Soon everyone is mad and you have a serious pizza craving developing, you storm upstairs and start pacing your bedroom. Luckily you notice my book on your nightstand and you remember the section on EFT so you start tapping.
Checking first to see how strong your negative emotion is on the scale of 1-10, obviously you would be a ten :)
Even though I could easily kill my husband right now, I deeply and completely love and forgive and accept myself.
Repeat this statement 3-4 times whilst tapping the side of the hand.
Eyebrow point – I can't believe he bought pizza home
Side of the eye – he knows I’m not eating that crap anymore
Under the eye – but he still bought it home
Under the nose – he can be so inconsiderate sometimes
Under the mouth – he has no regard for my diet
Collar bone – I am so mad I could spit
Under the arm – I am so angry right now
Top of the head – I hate feeling like this
Eyebrow point – I was alright till he came home
Side of the eye – I was looking forward to trying Carol King’s chicken recipe
Under the eye – but he had to go and spoil everything
Under the nose – now I don’t feel like eating at all
Under the mouth – I am so mad
Collar bone – this is not fair
Under the arm – I don’t want to feel like this
Top of the head – it’s a good thing I have tapping to fall back on
Stop; take a deep breath and relax. How do you feel, how would you rate your anger on the scale now? If you have not yet reached zero think about how you feel and start tapping again. If you have reached zero congratulations, you can now go downstairs and have a civil discussion with your husband and set down some pizza rules.
As I said before tapping is a technique that is unique to each user, their really is no right or wrong. Simply focus on what you feel and say the words that best describe how you are feeling. If you practice this often you will soon find you become a proficient EFT user and you will be able to quickly and easily diffuse any negative emotions that sneak up on you.
Love and Blessings
2 Response to EFT Weight Loss Quick Tip #2
I'm not familiar with EFT, and I recently saw the demonstration videos on one of your earlier blog entries. I'm thinking, "yeah, this is pretty cool, I can do this" but sure enough, I trip myself up by trying to come up with the "right" statements. What a relief to know that I can come up with my own, even if they don't make sense at the time! Thanks for your insight.
Hi Regina, you are very welcome. Its a common misconception amongst those who are new to EFT. I learnt tapping two years before I started using it consistently simply because I kept telling myself I wasn't "doing it right". To me, my words did not sound elegant or spiritual like some of the EFT experts, so I stopped using it.
Then one day I happened to hear a comment Brad Yates made in one of his videos about the wording not having to be perfect. So I started experimenting again and I soon found that when I simply state how I was feeling I was able to get clear a great deal faster.
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